WARNING: This is a long post. But I promise it’s worth it! Lol!
I am a very impatient person. So, I was not waiting until I was 20 weeks to find out the sex of my baby. I scheduled an appointment at a 3D ultrasound place to find out at 16 weeks. In the beginning of my pregnancy I told my sisters and close friends when my appointments were and basically everything else I found out regarding my pregnancy. It became a bit overwhelming because people were checking in like clockwork when I had doctors’ appointments. Lol! So, I decided to keep the reveal private and to tell everyone after we found out. Anywho, I received a text message a few days before, followed by a phone call. I won’t go into detail because I’m already pissed even thinking about it. Basically, the person told me “without telling me” but in fact that’s exact what they did. TOLD ME, that Joel planned to purpose on Saturday. (The same day we were finding out what we were having) It didn’t hit me at first. I guess I was just more worried about what this person had going on and didn’t realize they had just ruined what was going to be a special moment in my life.
The next day I finally started to process the fact that I knew when Joel was proposing after this SAME PERSON texted me and said something about the proposal AGAIN. WTF! The first thing that came to mind was “OMG! My poor baby is keeping all these surprises that is happening on the same day from everyone. I know he is going crazy!” (Keeping the reveal from my family and keeping the proposal from me) Joel is literally the first person I go to when something happens that I found myself texting him like “Bro, how about”… and then I stopped. “YOU CAN’T TELL HIM CRAZY.” That was me to me. Lol! UGH. So, I called my best friend and she’s like “Yeah, you need to just tell him because he’s going to be mad when he finds out that you knew and didn’t tell him. Plus, you’re not good at pretending so you can’t be fake surprised.” She was right. But of course, I had to call up a few other people. Moral of the story, I got a bunch of different advice about what I should do but I knew what I had to do. I HAD TO TELL HIM.
I found out a month after we got engaged (and married) that Joel bought VIP tickets to propose on the Ferris Wheel at the National Harbor after our gender reveal. He went to speak with someone a few weeks before and planned to get the Ferris Wheel lit up pink or blue depending on what we were having. I was so heartbroken finding this out because Joel gets anxiety at the thought of having to be creative. Lol! So I knew how much thought he had to have put into it. But, what was most important, was how he wanted it to be special for me and successfully switched up everything in a few hours so that I could still be surprised.
10 minutes after he called me to come downstairs, I paced back and forth from my room to the front door. I was freaking out because I didn’t know how I would tell him. I got to the elevator and then turned back around. I called my sisters and said “He’s not going to want to marry me anymore”. (Dramatic? Always! Ha) After they told me how ridiculous I was being, I decided it was time to get it over with. My plan was to tell him how much I love and appreciate him and then I would proceed to say, “But can I still get my ring though?” LOL! Anywho, I’m the elevator and the doors opened for me to walk into the lobby. Joel was standing in front of the door with a box in his hand. My thoughts: WHAT THE HECK!?
I was so stuck that I let the elevator doors close. (With me on the inside) I honestly made it way more embarrassing than it had to be. Lol! Joel finally pulled me off the elevator (literally) and started to tell me how much he loves me and couldn’t live without me. (Duh! Haha) I won’t lie and say I remember everything he said because all I could think about was how I looked a mess and could not believe he already knew! I kept my hand over my eyes, crying the entire time, saying “OMG! You’re so annoying”. Something I say when I don’t know what to say. All I remember is him saying that I’m his rock and asking me if I would marry him. *Still with my eyes covered* Of course, I said yes! (By the way, my sisters were the ones who called and told him I knew)
A few days later Joel and I discussed our marriage plans. Ryann was coming in a few months and we would be moving even sooner. I knew that I couldn’t afford my dream wedding and I didn’t like the idea of a small ceremony “just because”. Of course every girls’ dream is to have a huge wedding with family, friends, and an open bar reception! But for me, all I could think about was having to find someone I wanted to walk me down the aisle, what friends/sisters to choose for bridesmaids, and the thought of planning AND paying for a wedding myself, gave me a headache. Lol! I just wanted to be married to the love of my life before having my daughter. My decision not to have a wedding at the time was one of the best decisions I have ever made BUT wedding soon come! (Well not soon but eventually!)
A week later we decided we would elope in Colorado Springs while Joel was away for training.
On April 21st, 2018 I became Mrs. Howell!
Prior to our marriage and our relationship, Joel and I built a friendship. He made it so easy to love him because of how much he cared for me as a friend. A month or so after being married we watch an episode of Black Love on OWN. One of the couples spoke about their marriage and how it comes before their child. At first we were like uhhh… huh? But then they expressed that if their marriage is good, their child would be good. We felt that. Lol! We chose to adopt this concept in our marriage as well. We agreed that if we continue to have a healthy relationship, our love will grow stronger and we will be able to share this love with our children. What’s most vital in my marriage is communication, keeping things exciting/new, and to never go to sleep angry.
What are some things that are important to you? Whether single, in a relationship, married, divorced, what is a must have for you with your significant other?