Mental Health is a Priority: My Self Care Story

Verbal abuse, homelessness, a parent with addiction and drug issues.  While the other kids were outside playing, I was trying to navigate an emotionally traumatic childhood.  And that is only HALF my story. I was not educated on the importance of Mental Health until I became an adult.

Do you know that 95% of us say mental health is important, yet only 26% prioritize it?  Thanks to my partner Well Being Trust for giving me the platform to tell my story.

This article is intended as informational only; and is no way medical or psychological advice. All information and resources found on westtowife.com are based on the opinions of the author.  By using this website, you accept this disclaimer in full.

Well Being Trust is a national foundation dedicated to advancing mental, social and spiritual well-being.

My Story:

Growing up in an environment that is far from ideal I became accustomed to what was going on around me.  As I got older and saw how other families functioned, I resigned myself to thinking that this is just how my life is and I have no choice but to accept it.  Eventually I became numb to everything that was happening around me.  I remember opening up to someone once and sharing my story and them saying “You realize the things you’ve been through are not normal right? Just because you had to deal with trauma as a child, does not mean you have to hold up a strong wall. It is okay to heal.”

I tried therapy when I was in college but what 19-year-old wants to talk to someone every Friday to unravel things she would rather just forget.  Regret.  If I could go back in time, I would tell my younger self to continue those sessions.  Back then my therapist would point out how every time she asked me a question about myself, I would talk about someone else, what they were going through and how I had to help and be there for them. She would always redirect me and say “Yes, but what do you want for you, Kenniqua?” Wow! Have you ever been asked a question and the only answer you have is “I have absolutely no idea!”? Welp, that was me!

Fast forward to marriage, motherhood, careers and adulting.  I was in my second trimester of pregnancy when I experienced a severe emotional breakdown. I was that nineteen-year-old all over again.  Doing for everybody else and not thinking about myself-on autopilot just going through the motions and missing some of the best parts of my life.   I knew I had to commit to breaking the cycle and to thinking about what I wanted for my family, my marriage, my children and myself.  Knowing what I didn’t want was the easy part.  Prioritizing my mental health and self-care in order to heal and be the best me I can be was going to take some real effort. 

Mental Health is a priority but practicing self-care is not easy! And honestly, I still struggle. 

I am a firm believer that the mind is a powerful thing.  I believe that you must train your mind to think about and go after what you want for your life. Here are a few things I remind myself of and ways I practice self-care to heal and maintain my mental health.

Tips to helps prioritize your Mental Health:

1. Stop, breathe and think. Trying to do too much at once and staying busy is a tactic that allows me to avoid thinking about real life situations. Can anyone relate? I force myself to just stop and walk through what I’m feeling in my head. (Babe, if you’re reading this, you now know why I take those long showers sometimes! Lol)

2. Talk it out. I’ve learned that you cannot deal with every-single-thing on your own. You may be strong willed and a superwoman/man but allowing too much to build up in your mind, can cause an explosion. Seek out resources for tips on how to deal.  Schedule a therapy session or grab a good listener.

3. Spend time alone and get to know yourself. I absolutely need time alone. As a wife and mother, it’s hard to get but even a simple drive to the store does it for me. Most times I’ll stay up late after Joel and Ryann go to bed just to have some time to reflect on the day, on life or just grab some alone time to check in with myself. We are learning and growing daily so our wants, needs, likes, and dislikes, change. We need to know what we want so that we can communicate that to others. Which leads to my next one…

4. Find something that makes you happy and do it! For me, it’s writing and creating social media content. I’ve communicated this with my husband because I need him to know my happy place outside of family. This is something I love to do so whether I stay up late or wake up early, I make time for it.

5. Know when to remove people from your situation.  Hard but necessary. I will not try to maintain toxic relationships.  When people have shown me that they do not deserve to be a part of my life or my journey it’s time to disconnect.  Family, friends, anyone.  It is not fair to keep allowing negative energy or people to stay in your life!

Mental Health is REAL! It should be talked about it.

That’s why I love everything  Well Being Trust is doing with their vision of wellness for all. They are not only dedicated to mental health but social and spiritual health as well. From clinical and community transformation, to social engagement and more! Well Being Trust has so much to offer. Be sure to visit their website to learn more about their organization and share this vital resource with others! You never know how much of a difference you can make by simply sharing with others.

Lastly, as you practice self care, remember that committing to it is equally as important. Here’s some of the goals I created to stick to my commitment in my Committing to Self Care blog post.

This post is in partnership with Well Being Trust, I am sharing my personal story.  All opinions are my own.