Snapback not so #Snapback!

I’ve always been this petite girl who wanted to be slim thick so bad. Lol! And now, I have clothes I can’t fit, stretch marks I didn’t ask for, and a body that’s slightly bigger than I’m used to. I’ve finally been able to accept my new body. This means: not stopping in the extra small or small section anymore. To the mamas that didn’t “snap back” after pregnancy, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

I remember being pregnant and seeing everyone have their babies before me. I kept saying “I can’t wait until Ryann gets here so I can get this snapback!” Welp, it’s been three months since I’ve had Ryann and the “snapback” is STILL nonexistent.

Getting dress and “throwing something on really quick” is not the same anymore. Before I had Ryann I could never gain weight over 126 pounds. I tried going to the gym and drinking protein shakes. Eating more. I even considered drinking ensures. And then, I got pregnant. These thighs and hips came out of nowhere and when Ryann left, some of it stayed. Now, I don’t know what to do with myself. LOL! They say be careful what you wish for. Anywho, it’s taken me so long to understand that pregnancy and being a mom changes your life in so many ways. I’ve been holding on to clothes telling myself “you’ll get back in them”. When I go shopping, I still try on clothes that are an extra small and then get frustrated when things don’t fit my body the way they used to.

Here’s a few pre-pregnancy pictures:

The first time I went to the mall to get something to wear after having Ryann I was trying on “my size”. (My size BEFORE I was pregnant) I was so frustrated because nothing would fit, or it just looked too tight. I went from store to store doing the same thing. I was literally in tears. I was so insecure and so self-conscious. I HAVE NEVER BEEN LIKE THIS. I was always so used to going into a store and grabbing a pair of 0’s or clothes that were a little on the small side and squeezing myself into them with no problem. (All while screaming I wanna be thick lol) Once I got home and told Joel, he said “just bring home whatever you could find and we’ll figure it out”. (Ugh, I just love him lol) I got home and said, Kenniqua, you have to understand that you are no longer that size. I was so tired of saying bad things about my body (especially to Joel) and taking way too long or opting out of going places, just because I couldn’t find anything in my closet. Another thing that’s frustrates (and PLEASE COMMENT AND TELL ME IF YOU CAN RELATE!) when people say, “oh girl, look at me” or “please don’t talk about being big when I look like this”. I’m sorry, (and I say this in the nicest way possible) I AM NOT YOU! I get that I may not be “as big” as whomever, but I am comparing myself to ME. To who I’ve been, what I’M used to, and what I feel inside. Although I may not be “that much bigger” (as people tend to say) it’s something that I haven’t experiences before and something I had to bring myself to accept.

Below are a few photos I took a week ago:

So, let me be honest. I have not been consistent with working out. Not making excuses (as I follow with excuses lol) but it’s hard man! LOL! I always want snacks. I am always (because what mom isn’t?) exhausted. BLAH. Anywho, my goal is to plan to be more committed to working out AND eating healthy. I can’t sit here and complain or expect results that I’m not working to get. My motivation: The trips I have planned that I would like to be half naked (in binkins, duh!) on this year. So, for all of you mamas that are still trying to #snapback, let’s be more consistent, more dedicated, and less insecure!

Who’s with me? Subscribe or send me an email and I will be happy to connect with you on this #snapbacknotsosnapback journey!