Every week, month, year, I write down new goals and add on to them whenever I think of something new. Some are accomplished, some I totally forget about. I became more serious about my goals when my best friends decided to start asking each week to list our top 3 goals in our group chat. I’m not gonna lie, I was more frustrated than anything. “I don’t freaking know what my goals are right now!” They would set some annoying deadline. “Have them tonight by 7:04pm or we’re removing you from the chat forever!” LOL! Nah I’m being extra but that’s what it felt like. I realized I was so annoyed because my life was all over the place and I just didn’t feel like thinking about what my goals were. And then one day my husband started doing the same thing. We would be at the dinner table and he would ask questions like “What are your goals for the week?”, “What’s one thing you liked about today and one think you disliked?” BLAH! The more questions I received about my future or that made me really think deep, I would get so angry and I had no idea why.
“
Sometimes I get to the point of frustration, that I just become silent.”
– Unknown
I started thinking a little more and I had to talk myself through why I was getting so upset when these conversations were exactly what I needed. I thought a little more and BOOM. It came to me. I had just stopped working, moved with my husband, and I was in my third trimester. I had so many different emotions at the time because 1. I’ve been working and doing things on my own since I don’t know how long and 2. I couldn’t seem to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. THIS IS WHY I WAS SO AGGRAVATED WHEN THINKING ABOUT MY GOALS AND MY FUTURE. Every day I thought about what I would be happy doing and before I could complete my thoughts I would just say “f this” I don’t know. I would even cry sometimes because it was just too much (in my mind) to think about. One of the days my husband asked me about my goals, I did what I do best. Pulled up the notes on my phone and started brainstorming. I asked myself “What will make you happy? What is something you can do for the rest of your life that would make you the happiest?” I made myself stay there until I figured it out. FYI: I honestly never figured out what “title” I would hold but some things came to me and this made me feel a lot better. I’m still trying to figure it out and for me, that is okay.
“
It’s okay to not know completely what you want or what you should be doing and to stumble a little bit.”
– Unknown
Writing things down has always been more effective for me. Most times I write in my notes but with my goals I decided to buy an agenda to physically write them down. It’s so easy to set a million goals that sounds great but if you’re not accomplishing them it’s kinda like “okay so what was the point?” Sometimes we know we need a little more time for certain goals but write them down anyway just to say we have them. I still do it. But! I’ve also established a system where I have my “main/top” goals and then I have “other goals”. The reason I do this is because little successes work for me. When I accomplish one thing it makes me feel good and that will push me to keep going. (We all need those “ahhh I achieved this” moments for motivation purposes, right? Lol) My top 3 September goals were to launch my blog, pass my real estate exam, and have a successful birth. I achieved all three! Woohoo! But, I also had small goals that I never looked at again. One of my “other” goals was self-care. I’ve decided to make this one of my “main” goals for October because I really need to spend more time doing things for myself this month. ESPECIALLY as a new mom! And no, I don’t mean spending money and going out every week. I just need to keep up with my weekly deep conditioners, do facial routines, catch up on my shows, eat healthier, and do things I haven’t been doing for ME.
“
Self-care means giving yourself permission to pause.”
– Cecilia Tran
Additionally, I would suggest getting an agenda and/or a calendar. Sidebar: One thing my husband does that I love is using his calendar for budgeting. He writes down all his bills, things he (we lol) want, and checks them off as they are paid. This keeps him on top of what he’s already paid for in the beginning of the month and what he still needs to pay for at the end. I think this is a great idea for people with lots of bills or if you and your significant other pay your bills together like we do.
As always, feel free to like, share, and comment what tools/tips work for you when you’re setting your goals!